Spays

and happy new year!

or if ya celebrate something else, happy that ,3

(wee late, since no time ,3)

i'm barely on here anymore, and i kinda miss this place a bit, but since it's Christmas i just wanted to come in here, and tell everyone to have a blood good Christmas, or if you celebrate something else, have a bloody good that XD

have a good one lads/lasses ,3

On my drawing account that is, not  this one

cave-man-spays.deviantart.com/…

more info in the link, so read before you do anything pleas ,3

cave-man-spays.deviantart.com/…  allright i've picked out the 3 most chosen stuff and made them, now it is up too you to decide wich one of them that are going in to the comic .3

No, not relay.

But it is going to change this account quiet a bit i think.

*sigh* For two years now i've been doing gmod pictures on this very account, can you belive that? two hole years... two hole life changing years.

Oh sorry i'm rambling aren't i? well let me get the the point then.

I'm planing on putting the Phygun on the shelf, and retire my gmod picture makingness, or rater, all to do with gmod. i've been doing this for 2 years now, i meet alot of cool and awesome people thanks too it, and in some way, it changed my life. But nowadays, i just don't feel the spark i feelt when i first started.... and that gmod is starting to go to hell it self, doesn't make it easy. This dosn't mean i'm going to put this account down, and to be honest, i might want to make a pic or two in the future just for the hell of it, but other then that, i dun knuw yet.

I might be wanting to change this account to my drawing account, transfer all of my pictures too this one, and delete my alt, but this is still to be decided, so i'ma ask, shall i just keep it like it is now? or should i transfer all my drawings over too this one?

(this part is going to be more of the personal stuff of mine, just something i want to say, since why not, if you're not intrested and are actually reading, you can ignore this part)


For two years now, as i said, i've done Gmod, gmod pictures and 3 gmod'ish vidoes, but never have i actualy said how it all got started.

It all started with a gmod video i saw, A video made by ''you can sort of say he made me start gmoding''.
i saw his video with the demoknight guy, and for some reason i relay liked the character and it's development. i got my self gmod, and messed around a bit, and then i found out of the deviant art gmod community, and i started an account,

one of the reason i alos wanted to start, was that i were a bit lonely... not that i didn't have friends, it's just.. no one of them where interested in what i was interested in, and i wanted to meet people.

i made my first picture that i wanted to post spays.deviantart.com/art/demon… .

I relay enjoyed making that picture, and i continued, and i got some Support, that now is good friends.
My watcher count surprisingly quickly grew (quicker then i though it would) and got noticed a little in the gmod community.

I started to meet new and awesome people, got new friends, and i started to get happy, my lust for making pictures got stronger and stronger, i started to learn new Technics, point of view, lighting, details, all of this good stuff.

and i kept improving, making pictures that is actually looking nice and haves some feelings too them.

but with that, it also changed me in to something i didn't want to become...

After the gmod community went true it's huge drama period, and started to fall apart, it started to make me judging.... i started to  judging people for what they like, their fetishes, and i started to dislike people... God i were such an idiot, all i wanted was to make pictures, creativity, funnies stuff that will make people smile.

but no, the community made me forget this goal that was in my head.

it wasn't before journal, that made me remember that goal, and made me rethink the dumb and idiotic stuff that i did... i harmed people, and judged them for what they like... and that isn't me... i'm a guy that can accept people for who they are, if they like something wierd, it's okay.... but i forgot it... and for that i am sorry.

it is a saying that my gramp used to say ''never judge a person for what they are or like, before you judge you self'' basically, a saying i've had with me at all time, but forgot it... 

anyway, after that i promised to stop, and never again doing it, and it made me start thinking a little when drama struck or when people was put under the Judge hammer '' no you know what, he might be doing something wierd, but so are all of us, he/she is just a normal person with his/her likeings, why can't you guy just leave them alone'' ofc i never had the balls to say it, but you know.

and i keept with it, with the goal of just making entertaining stuff that everyone will like, and not harm anyone with it, no threats or hurt them with my content, and hate art disappeared from my channal, stuff that could count as it, was more a sense of art then hate.

anyhow, that changed me, but sadly it didn't change the community, ofc some did, but someone still stayed and keeped adding drama...

okay now enough of that, my art improved and i reach 150 awesome watchers, but sadly with all of does people.... i started to lose my spark... i just feel like the community feel so far apart, and we were every were, we weren't connected as we used to be some still are, but not as a community, but as friends.

and i just feel like making gmod pictures isn't the same as it used to be, it used to be for fun and just get our ideas out... now it is all about skills, how nice it looks, and if a person makes a bad pictures, poor posing, lighting stuff like that, people hate him/her, and just look down at them, and never think, ''i were once that bad too'' and help them out with some tips (sure if they don't want help, let them be and let them keep doing what they do, but hey, better to try then not doing anything ,3) and i don't mean everyone is like that, but still some are.

see now i'm judging again... god i hate that, i'm sorry for that i truly am...

yeah but as i said, the spark that drove me to get good, and make awesomenesses, faded... but it woke up my sense for drawing, and that spar of geting better is growing with each picture i draw.

so that is basicly why i want to stop gmoding, for the most part. i'll probably jump in and do a picture or two when i feel like it, but other then that, All Comic ideas, tennis, anything with a story is thrown to side, and can be taken if you want too, but i'm keeping my characters Copyrighted (original the characters do not steal, or else fish .D) as name that is, and probably will be drawn instead of gmod characters.

So that is some of my story, sorry for taking you're time, if you read it ,3



Allright, since i'm (somewhat) quiting gmod, Then i want to say thank you too some people on here, that i meet on here.

: Jw91, What a grumpy bastard ,3 nah, but relay though, Jw was the first person i got to know well, and we to today are very good friends (or at least i think so ,3) .we meet over a conversation on how a fat the heavy could get up on a boat, ohh good times ,3 well anyhow, When i meet jw he also was in the gmod picture makeing, and he tried hard to make pictures, but i feelt that people were to harsh with him with his pictures, and to be honest, it was kinda unfair how people picked on him for that, and some other reasons. he can get mad yes, and he can get snappy, but i think he's the only person i know that can come up the next day and say sorry for it, i rarely see people do that.

he is one of does people that tried very hard to get things done, but gives up, thanks to that people don't support his hard work.

there have been some other things that have been said about him, And to be honest the things been said are something that people just thought, with no positive proof on it.

anyhow, he can get off as a mad, grumpy person, but this man haves his own way of being nice, all you need to do is to get to know him.


biscuit nuf said................ No not relay. noobmister is the second person i got to know, though i don't completely remember how -_- Anyhow, noobmister, is a person i can respect for what he does, and his goal. he's one of does people that haves alot of creativity, but can't get them out properly, and when he can, people start going harsh, and/or even attack him for does ideas. 

He's had alot of good ideas up too now, but people just look down on them, or even goes to harsh hate on it, but he keeps going with it, some idea have been put down, yes, but he dosn't give up, and keeps on making new ideas, and tries to get them going.

it is as they say '' an famous artist never got to were he isnow, with his first idea''

what this man lack in artistic value by hands, he makes up with mind and voice. and so far, he's the best voice actor i've meet on here, by far. 

he had some harsh times over the drama period, and still kinda haves, but it just seems like they are personal hate then actual reasons to go agains him that way.

anyhow keep up said good work mate ,3


The third person i meet on here and got to know. sadly yet again i don't remember how we meet ;W; 
anyhow, molo here gotta be one of my, if not favorite artist. Ever since i got to know how well he drew, i sat a goal for my self, and that is to become better then him (Probably never going to happen XD since he is damn good)one day. His art, i don't know why, but is just one of does art styles that inspires me the most, and not only is he an awesome artist, he have a brain to go with it, ideas so funny you'll be poping you're pants ,3

anyhow, enough fanboing(not relay) molo isalso been a close friend, a person that keeps me smiling with his ideas, and happy/jellous every time he shows me his awesome ideas/drawings, and he just keeps improving, and it just makes me boil with passion, that one day, i'm going to be as good as him.

but as of late.. i feel like i've havn't been a as good friend as he his, letting him down, not supporting him under his time of need, though my way of support is a little bit different then others, it still feels like i'm leting him down in someway...
sorry if taht is the case.

anyhow, he is an awesome person to be with, and it's never a doll moment with him XD
keep up the awesome work ,3

allright now to people that i sadly havn't goten to talk to, but wish i could and mostly just want to thank XD

 

an awesome gmoder, the guy that made me join the gmod community without even knowing him XD

we had a few games with some other in the gmod community, but that was sadly just it.

an awesome gmoder with some good ideas, and the guy that inspired me to join gmod ,3



a guy that the same as Labet, only got to talk to true some games.

but he is the guy i've had the longest rp with ever, man does stories are some good shit, wish i wroth them down XD

well anyhow, he is the guy i got to know the most of thes people, but sadly don't get to do much gaming or just plane talking.



Yet again... okay i actually never got to talk to her as much all.

but she is a person i want to thank alot.

under my ''gmoding'' of pawnies, she helped me hex them, and many more of them after that

but most of all, she was one of my biggest inspiration i've had within the gmod community.

her pictures was just inspiring, and it keept me going, maby one day i'll get as good as that.

But i feel like i didn't get the thank her enough for the hard work she did for me, and thank her for all the help she gave.
so i'm sorry, that the only thank you i can give is... well a thank you -3-

i hope you keep up being awesome and keep up that good work of yours.



YET again, only got to talk to him true some games. I want to thank him alot, since i feel like it's thanks to him i actually Got to were i am today.

And also, his awesome pictures became a inspiration, and also helped me keep moving.

wich we could talk, maby also take some games, but i guess that's never going to happen -3-

well anyhow, you also keep up that awesome work ,3



Also a guy that i never got to talk to, and when we can i don't have the time -3-

well anyhow, Notch is a man with alot of awesome ideas, but i feel like he dosn't get alot of the attention that he could get.

anyhow, he's lately started up some groups, and they relay made my brain go nutz with ideas ,3 



Still own me some Warhammer and skullgirls matches mate ,3

i never got to talk to him, mostly because of him living in a time line that is not going well with mine -3-

i hope one of thies days we can get some of dem matches done mate ,3

there is someone i want to say sorry too aswell



we had a tennis once, that i started, but i never got to do my part... the reason i didn't it just started to feel wrong for me, and i don't know why, anyhow, what i want to say sorry for is that, mostly that i started it, since that was a dumb idea of mine -3- and mostly mostly, that i never told you that i stoped it -3- i waz dummy and i iz sowwy for wasting you're time.

Too the man that once wass Artuur.

Yeah i'm saying sorry too this guy, i know he's back on dev, but don't know his account.

anyhow. though he started it with me, i still kinda feel sorry for joing others and bulling him the way i did, i should have just ignored him, but i did what i shouldn't i was mean.

anyway, if you read it, i'm sorry that i snaped back at you, it was childish off me, and i hope we can finally bury that damn axe XD

......
crap i don't know if it was any other people ....

if i did somethign bad towards you in the past and you are reading this, then tell, i want to atleast say sorry for the bad i did -3-

well anyhow, i think that's it, i've said what i want i think so i'm going to end this journal now ,3

well anyhow, if you read this, pleas tell if it's okay if i reupload my drawings from my alt drawing account and make this my new drawing account ,3

anyhow sorry for wasting you're time and hope you have good day ,3